When I was a little girl, we had neighbors.
The neighbors had a beautiful, different girl who was a few years older.
It was clear that something about her was different, she talked very slow and she had some strange movements.
Something about her fascinated me.
One day, after we grew closer, I dared ask her what she has.
And then, she told me that when she was 3 years old, she drowned in the pool for several minutes, lost oxygen, and therefore, she had retardation (that’s what it was called back than).
The first thing that came out of my mouth was something in the lines of: “Wow, your parents must have taken it so hard!”
She looked at me and said:
“They are so happy I survived, that every day they tell me how happy they are that I was saved”.
Her answer still resonated with me to this day.
The wisdom 🙂
That was the first time I heard such a phrase, that you could be content and with gratitude, even when something awful happens.
Brene Brown (a shame researcher), talks about how happiness is actually a threat for us, we are panicked of feeling happiness. We’re afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel happy, something bad will happen, that happiness will be taken away from us in a heartbeat, and we’ll get punched and feel loss.
So in the midst of wonderful things, we have a “dress rehearsal” for the tragedy to come.
Brene Brown (a shame researcher), talks about how happiness is actually a threat for us, we are panicked of feeling happiness. We’re afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel happy, something bad will happen, that happiness will be taken away from us in a heartbeat, and we’ll get punched and feel loss.
So in the midst of wonderful things, we have a “dress rehearsal” for the tragedy to come.
Because when we lose the ability to be vulnerable, happiness becomes threatening.
The results of the research showed that people who were willing to devote to happiness were the ones who were willing to live with gratitude. They practiced being in gratitude.
Happiness is a learned skill that has nothing to do with our starting point in life. Meaning, each and every one of us can learn and practice in order to increase our happiness.
Happiness is what we feel when we strive towards fulfilling our potential. Meaning, what makes us experience happiness is the path we go through on the way of fulfilling our potential.
In an article previously published in “Globes”, Amy Blankson, a member of the UN Happiness Council, said unequivocally 2 very important things in my opinion (she actually says more, but I chose two):
- Happiness is a learned skill that has nothing to do with our starting point in life. Meaning, each and every one of us can learn and practice in order to increase our happiness.
- Happiness is what we feel when we strive towards fulfilling our potential. Meaning, what makes us experience happiness is the path we go through on the way of fulfilling our potential.
In the article she mentions that research after research show that the level of happiness determines our degree of success in the long run. When a person adopts a more positive perspective, his dopamine level go up. He will succeed and function on a higher level. Live longer, suffer less from heart diseases, stress and fatigue.
So to sum up,
Only when we agree to risk failing, to be disappointed, being exposed, we can fulfill our happiness, the one that will bring us towards a full life and that, we can teach ourselves.
It’s worth a shot, right? 🙂
